Relationship structure
A relationship structure in non-monogamy is the arrangement that forms between people connected through multiple relationships. The names for different structures can describe relationship dynamics of one or two people, or how people are connected in their polycules, which also describes the connection between metamours.
Structures as part of polycules[edit]
These are terms used to describe how two or more people can be connected through their polycules.[1]
Triad[edit]
A triad in ethical non-monogamy is a group of three people in relationships with each other. The term is mostly used for describing throuples, however, it is occasionally used for vees as well. Romantically or sexually exclusive triads are often referred to as closed triads.
Throuple[edit]
A throuple (derived from three and couple) is a relationship structure of three people being in (typically non-hirarchical) relationships with both other partners. Throuples, therefore, consist of four distinguishable relationships: the relationships between each set of two people as well as the relationship between the three parties as a whole.[2] Previously monogamous couples who are new to polyamory often perceive throuples as the safest step after opening their existing relationship, since they appear to be the easiest way for inexperienced people to deal with jealousy and equal treatment.[3]
Vee[edit]
A vee is a relationship structure where one person is in a relationship with two people who are not involved with each other, making them metamours. The person in the center of a vee is often referred to as the hinge.
Quad[edit]
A quad consists of four people, where each person is in a relationship with at least two other people among that group. While subdivisions of quads exist, due to their rarity there are no general established labels for them, e.g. a quad where each person is in a relationship with each other member is sometimes referred to as a unicorn squad (due to its rarity), sometimes it is called a true squad. Quads are often formed when two established couples start engaging with each other.
Other[edit]
Because of the vast possible combinations of relationship structures, many of them are simply referred to as a polycule.
Structures defined by relationship dynamics[edit]
These terms are defined by the [Relationship dynamics|relationship dynamics] between two people or even the dynamics between a relationship and other relationships or people. While categories can help to communicate structure and circumstances, people and their relationships don't have to fit any category perfectly.
Primary partner[edit]
When practicing relationship hirarchy, partners that are prioritized over all others are considered to be primary, usually as part of a relationship agreement. The term is often used interchangeably with "nesting partner".
Secondary partner[edit]
Generally, a secondary relationship is prioritized less than a primary one. The relationship with a secondary partner doesn't need to of the same nature as the primary relationship.[4]
Nesting partner[edit]
A live-in partner is often described as a nesting partner. The term is often used interchangeably with "primary partner" to show involvement while avoiding the implications of hierarchy.[5]
Solo polyamory[edit]
While solo polyamorous people can have relationships of any level of dedication, they avoid commitment in a logistical, rank, or rules-based sense as well as the limitations and expectations that come with a primary relationship.[6]
Relationship anarchy[edit]
Relationship anarchy has an underlying philosophy of avoiding labels, exclusivity, and formal relationship hirarchy. The distinction between partners and non-partners in relationship anarchy is optional.[7]
Mono-poly relationship[edit]
A mono-poly relationship is defined as a relationship between one polyamorous person and person, that either practices monogamy or is otherwise exclusive to their partner in a sexual and/or romantic way.
Kitchen table polyamory[edit]
Kitchen table polyamory is a form of relationship structure often described as "where everyone is comfortable enough to sit together at a kitchen table and drink coffee," meaning that partners and metamours are voluntarily socially interacting, often becoming friends. They don't necessarily need to live in the same household. Kitchen table polyamory is considered to be the opposite of parallel polyamory.
Parallel polyamory[edit]
Parallel polyamoryis a relationship structure where metamours don't have any interest in being part of each other's lives and have little to no contact. It is considered to be the opposite of kitchen table polyamory. In the more extreme form called "don't ask, don't tell" (or DADT), metamours actively avoid each other personally as well as discussing other relationships with their partners at all.
Notes[edit]
- ↑ Maisha Z. Johnson, What Does It Mean to Be Polyamorous?, (Media Inc., March 14, 2019)
- ↑ Laura Boyle, New Triads: Relationships on Hard Mode, (Ready For Polyamory, May 6, 2020)
- ↑ unicorns r us, (2014)
- ↑ Martha Kauppi, Why Would Someone Want To Be A Secondary Partner?, (Institute for Relational Intimacy, November 21, 2016)
- ↑ Kae Burdo, 7 Poly Terms You Should Know, (Bustle, July 7, 2019)
- ↑ Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE, Solo Polyamory, Singleish, Single & Poly, (Psychology Today, October 14, 2013)
- ↑ Rachael Hope, Demystifying the Types of Polyamorous Relationships, (Polyamory Today (published on Medium ), March 6, 2020)